Chub & bear
Best dating sites for chubby and bear gay men
Where the body-type filters actually work, which apps have a real bear population near you, and how to test it before paying.
Independent guides · Updated November 2026
Gay dating, minus the noise.
Straight-talking guides to the dating sites and communities that actually work for gay men — with a focus on the guys the big apps quietly ignore: bears, chubs, men over 40, and anyone tired of the infinite scroll.
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Start where you are
Five guides, no fluff.
Over 40
Dating for gay men over 40
The pool is smaller and the noise is lower. How to widen the search in the two directions that matter.
Comparison
Gay dating apps compared
Six well-known apps, one table: features, price model, who each one is really for, and the verdict.
Communities
Why small niche sites beat big apps
What a well-run niche community does better — and the five-minute test for spotting a dead one.
Craft
How to write a first message that gets replies
The three-part opener, six examples that work, and the habits that quietly kill reply rates.
Sites worth a look
Best all-round
Visit Scruff
Scruff
Long-standing community app with a strong bear and leather following. Free tier is usable; paid unlocks extra search and grid options.
Chub & bear
Visit Growlr
Growlr
Built around the bear and chub scene, with body-type and interest tags up front. Smaller pool, but the filters do the work for you.
Community
Visit Hornet
Hornet
Community feeds and travel features alongside the usual grid. Useful if you like context before you message someone.
These are the apps most often recommended for the readers of this site. All three have a usable free tier, so you can judge the crowd before you pay for anything.
How this site works
Independence
No invented numbers
No "10,000 members in your city" claims, no made-up success rates. If a number can't be checked on the day you read it, it doesn't go on the page.
Method
We start on the free tier
Every app here gets tested the way a new user would meet it: free account, real location, a handful of messages. Paywalls are noted, not praised.
Money
Disclosure in plain sight
Some links pay us a commission. It's stated at the top of every page and never decides the order of a table. Details.